Brew Another Cup

Once Upon A Time I Bought An American Car

2012-01-15T21:04:00.002-05:00

Once upon a time (December 2007) I bought an American car (2008 Saturn Vue). It has not been a good experience.en,

While it was under warranty, the following were replaced/repaired: heater, remote start/keyless entry transponder, O2 sensor, heater again, radio, and probably a few things I'm forgetting.

Then, I got new tires. Normal.

Then the power steering went. $800 later and a furious me, we replaced the power steering shindig and then discovered the battery was bad. Also replaced that and vowed to never return to that awful dealership in Plymouth even if they were the last place on the planet to have fresh water after the apocalypse.

The check engine light came on a few months later. It was repaired (another $400) and then came on again a few weeks later. I gave up. The noises got louder - the clunking in the front, the squeak when I drove through a puddle, the way the heat goes in and out. The battery randomly dies so the car won't start. The radio doesn't work. For 6 months you had to jiggle a fuse to get the dash lights to work, and then suddenly everything worked (minus the radio) one day. I lived with it all.

In December of 2011 my car had less than 80k on it and I decided to get the light fixed. They figured out the clunking noise so we fixed that too at the tune of $600.

A week later that damn check engine light was on again. New problem. The dealership humored me and fixed the car for free, saving me another $200. I still have the radio to repair, to figure out why the heat smells like burning plastic and is going in/out, and to figure out the underlying major electrical issues of the car.

So no, another American car isn't high on my list of desires unless someone else vows to foot the repair bills for the first five years. Because the honda I almost bought in 2007? It's 5 year repair estimate is $500 total. I'm at almost four times that in four years with more to come. I think it's time to trade this baby in.

Dear Griffin: 19 months

2012-01-02T21:27:00.001-05:00

Sweet boy:

You're 19 months old now - officially closer to two than one! Each day you learn an amazing amount of new things. Your favorite book is Brown Bear, Brown Bear and you read it before bed and first thing when you wake up; we've read it so much you can say much of it with us. Speaking of talking: you're solidly into 3-4 word sentences now and your comprehension is through the roof. You can easily follow 2 step directions. You can jump, dance, and sing.

Right now your favorite foods include bananas (there's a dance for that!), apples since you can eat them whole, and pasta (also has a dance). Christmas lights have been a big hit with you, and I'm sad to see them go for your sake since you love them so much. I'm thinking about finding a way to keep some up in the house for awhile, just for you.

Other cool things you do: eat with a fork (be careful with how you say that word though, buddy!) almost exclusively, jump, sing along with me, give great hugs/kisses, use your imagination, and love. It is absolutely adorable when you demand "HUG ME!" or say "love you". Speaking of love...you've developed quite an affinity for monkeys. In fact, just the other day you discovered the joys of your monkey hat and how it turns you into a mono. Super cute.

I thank the universe every day for bringing you to us. You have brought so much sunshine and joy to our lives that it feels like we'll forever be in debt to you for these amazing feelings. Thank you, my sunshine, for being you!

Love,

Mama

Dear Griffin - 18 months

2011-12-03T06:00:00.001-05:00

Dear Griffin:

You're now 18 months. I've missed a few monthly letters to you, I'm sorry - we are just so busy these days! You have really been keeping everyone on their toes and keeping us all entertained, that's for sure.

Almost everyone who meets you comments on three things: 1.) how happy you are; 2.) how cute you are; and 3.) your amazing personality. It takes a stranger maybe 20 seconds to realize these things about you, and they are so essential to the core of who you are these days. They are right on!

With very few exceptions, you are an extremely happy toddler. You happily feed yourself if we go out to dinner, and you happily find someone who will engage in a conversation or activity with you. We joke that you find a "victim" and do whatever sweet thing you can to get their attention. It almost always works. My favorite thing about it is to see the joy you bring to these people's faces; you really have an amazing knack at making people smile.

The second thing strangers notice, how cute you are, is obviously very true. Your eyes are still blue/green and change depending on what you're wearing or what the light is like. Sometimes I've even seen them a super light golden color (I joke that's your hungry color). They are very expressive, too.

And of course a key element to who you are is your speaking. I'd guess you have about 200 words now, but honestly I can't keep track at all. You're pretty solidly into two word sentences and have a few three or four word sentences thrown in. It all seems so normal to me until I see other kids older than you who are hardly talking - you are literally talking up a storm! At daycare you're known as the greeter because you say good morning or hello to everyone as well as saying goodbye.

Some of your favorite things these days include identify objects, trains, planes, mandarin oranges, Christmas lights, Christmas trees, babies and animals. You are not a fan of diaper changes, leaving toys you are happily playing with, and teething (molars just came in). Daycare is a very happy place for you, and you are sometimes sad to say goodbye to your friends (Kuh-en, Set, etc.) and teachers. But you are always delightful and bring joy to someone's life each and every day. I couldn't ask for more, honey bear. I just couldn't.

Love,

Mama

Stationery card

2011-11-27T14:41:00.001-05:00

Kaleidoscope Christmas Card

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Another Trip to Florida

2011-11-20T11:27:00.001-05:00

IMG_8327, a photo by jessikajessika on Flickr.

There are a lot of things I like about going to Florida - the warmth, our trips to the ocean, the feel of sand running through my fingers, spending time with Ryan's mom and extended family. I also love that we have excuses to go to new places and Griffin gets to enjoy these trips more and more each time.

Here we are at Siesta Key during a sand castle festival. My MIL snapped this photo of us and I think it's my favorite Griffin and momma pic in a long time. My hair looks so well behaved! He looks pensive but fairly content riding on my back. I don't know how much longer he'll handle those kinds of rides, but I'm enjoying them while I can.

Flu.

2011-10-28T20:59:00.003-04:00

So three weeks of feeling cruddy and two nights of feeling outright miserable led me to take the afternoon off and actually schedule an appointment with my internist. I think she was surprised to see me for an illness - I typically only go for the yearly physicals and shot updates.

The most probably diagnosis? THE FLU. Like, the real kind, not the one everyone says they have.

A nasal swab, a throat swab, a chest x-ray, urine sample and bloodwork. A fight with the blood lab who has ridiculously awful "bedside" manners. And the initial stuff looked clear, and the symptoms point to the flu. Stupid flu.

The good news is that it sounds like it's just the flu. I have an overactive imagination (which is what led me to make the appointment in the first place) and a child to worry about. So, I'm achey and tired and have a fever, but as long as I can get better and he stays healthy then we're in the clear.

Bulk.

2011-10-02T14:15:00.002-04:00

A few months ago I bought a Costco membership, sort of on a whim. Some new friends were telling me about all these wonderful things they buy at Costco and it was so tempting I just dove right in. There's a Sam's Club just a few minutes from our house, whereas Costco is about 15. But, everyone already has a Sam's membership so if I wanted to go, I could ask someone. No one has Costco. Plus, Trader Joes, another new favorite, is right down the street so it's like not only shopping in bulk, but multi-tasking! Perfect.

We've started focusing on a few areas to buy in bulk: meat, veggies, and snacks for the baby. Griffin gets his organic freeze dried fruit and applesauces; we get giant freezer bags full of organic veggies and enough meat to last us nearly a month. More than half of our monthly grocery budget goes to one giant monthly Costco trip, but that means we always have meals on hand and are not so reliant on the daunting task of giant weekly grocery trips. Weekly trips are short and sweet, with their sole purpose being supplementation - condiments, fresh fruit and veggies (though we've been getting much of those from the local farmers market too), random things for dinner. Oh, and I tend to buy our "carb" (we are strict adherers of the carb+meat+1 or more veggie for dinner) locally, either potatoes at the farmers market or something organic from TJs.

By my calculations, we have enough meat for about twenty meals and veggies for at least that. We eat out about once a week, but let's say five times a month. So, even if we didn't step foot in a grocery store again for the rest of the month, we'd be set on dinner. That doesn't even include the two weeks' worth of lunches I bought for myself, or the breakfasts (yum high protein/low fat turkey breakfast sandwiches!) that I'm still working through from our last Costco trip. And, because we have more stuff on hand, we're less likely to exceed our restaurant budget out of necessity rather than simply convenience.

It's satisfying that warehouse shopping is actually paying off for us (even with that extra toy dump truck someone forced us to buy today...) and it's super satisfying to spend a few minutes upon our arrival home unloading the tons of food and seeing our upstairs freezer full of meat and the downstairs deep freeze full of veggies, bread, and the likes. Plus, this means the Meat Cooker of the house picks out the meat, and the Grocery Shopper of the house signs in relieve that she no longer has to stare at aisles of meat thinking about what MC will want to cook.

So, on deck for this week:

salmon
hot dogs (why am I so into these lately?)
ribs
hamburgers
tortellini
pork loin chops

+one night out thrown somewhere into the mix. Lots of yum.

Drained.

2011-09-28T20:36:00.000-04:00

Today was one of those days that was absolutely, postively draining. They installed a new SmartBoard in my room, so there were people in and out of my classroom all day - f irst to install the required software, then to try to fix the hard drive, then to REPLACE said hard drive, then to reformat the new hardrive...you get the picture. The ultimate result at the end of the day was a SmartBoard that worked and a computer that worked, but not together. It made my head spin. Couple that with the weather change and a generally busy week and my whole body aches from the trials of today.

I wish weekends were 5 days long and the work week was 2...

Dear Griffin - 16 months

2011-09-27T17:29:00.000-04:00

My dear, sweet boy:

Today you are sixteen months old. Sixteen months! Time sure does fly. You have been walking for nearly two months but you are flat out running many days. You climb steps like a pro. And you are fiercely fearless - you have no hesitation about going down giant slides head first. When you do take a tumble, you're pretty good natured about it. Rarely do people hear you cry. Griffin, you are sooooo friendly, too; many times we enter a store and you greet every.single.person.you.see, and same thing on the way out. I stopped counting at 60 words in your vocabulary, because everyday you seem to learn something new and surprise me with a new word or understanding. You can follow multistep directions and are quick to tell us what you need - sleep, diaper, "na na", hunger, etc.

This month you went back to school, and there were a few rough mornings when you cried as I left but for the most part you've adjusted well. You are happy to see your teachers, you love your toys, and it is perfect that you go outside most days since you adore being outside. The kids in your room are mostly older than you, but you talk the most. You smile the most, too. Everyone knows who you are, that's for sure!

Suddenly you're really interested in your blankies. They're all muslin blankets with ribbon around the edges, of various prints and sizes. They are all equally loved and comforting to you. I love how soft they are now from your gentle touch, and how they smell like you. Some days I want to wrap myself in them at work and just remember how good you smell and how sweet your kisses are.

Some of your favorite things this past month include: slides, walking up slides, books, blankies, rubber duckies, planes (why do you call them bees, anyway?) wheels, veggie rice cakes, dancing, cheerios, and cows. This past month we also discovered you are allergic to pineapple (your poor body was covered in a rash almost instantly!) and don't care for the classic kid food of spaghetti o's (well, not the organic kind, anyway).

You are growing so insanely fast, both physically and mentally. Right now you're solidly in 18 month clothing, some 24 month stuff. I am always so eager to see your new developments but so sad, too, since each step is further and further away from your babyhood. Time flies when you're having fun!

Love,

Mama

Trees, bushes, earth.

2011-09-17T20:50:00.000-04:00

The school rule is no food outside of the cafeteria, but the reality is that kids are cramming their bellies full of Hot Cheetos and double chocolate chip muffins during the day, so clearly they are eating outside of the cafeteria. I hate finding Hot Cheeto remnants in my carpet, or hearing someone munch on chips in the middle of class. I dislike the chaos it tends to cause, and worst of all, I can't stand watching healthy, bright kids poison their bodies with unhealthy foods.

So, on the second day of class, I told my 11th graders they could eat by my rules after a girl asked if she could eat her plum. I'd been kicking around the idea for awhile without any real conclusion, so I figured I'd go with it and let them eat something healthy. That meant the item to be eaten must come from a tree or the ground, directly (I later ammended this to add bushes, because I didn't want berries to be left out).

An adult I first shared the idea with told me, "But bananas aren't healthy for you. You really want them to eat bananas in class?"

Yes, yes I do. And apples and oranges and carrots and celery. Because there's not a soul I know that couldn't use more vegetables and fruit in their diet, even vegetarians. And no, I don't think bananas are unhealthy, certainly not compared to their previous snacks.

Day two brought a peach and an apple, as did days three and four. I didn't think it had changed much (though I also didn't see a lot of other snacks being snuck in). The kids tried to convince me that granola bars were healthy (dipped in chocolate - don't you know there are chocolate granola bar trees, Mrs. W? they exclaimed) and that sugar grew in the ground (they clearly were missing the mark on the "picking" item). I grew weary of the idea I had proposed. I thought about cancelling it. And then...

One girl brought in a fruit salad. Another cut up two or three apples to share. Someone brought a few peaches. AND THEY WERE ASKING THEIR PARENTS TO BUY FRUIT TO EAT IN MY CLASS.

It was heavenly. I want to cultivate this. I'm dying to. It makes me so happy to see them eat healthy snacks. (And I wouldn't mind the granola bar, but we are so not ready to have the sugar conversation. They told me Capri Suns were healthy because they had water in them; I will surely need to read them this ASAP). So what if they mostly agreed with letting fast food joints in high schools in recent essays they wrote? At least they ate fruit while they wrote about how healthy fast food is for you! We're making progress, here, people.

goodnight

2011-09-11T21:35:00.001-04:00

'Tis all.

Ten years post 9/11.

2011-09-11T12:37:00.000-04:00

Ten years ago today, I was getting ready in my college dorm room, drying my hair watching the news like I always did. I only had one class that day, so I had some time. And suddenly the news switched to one of the Twin Towers on fire.

My brain flashed everywhere - to my family on Long Island who had been planning a site-seeing trip that week for some friends; to two months before, nearly to the day and hour, that my feet were firmly inside the parimeter of one of the towers; to what a horrible accident, and those poor souls on the plane.

It never ocurred to me that a pilot wouldn't have had that kind of accident. Then I watched the plane fly into the second tower, and this realization washed over me that this had to have been intentional.

Murder.

I stopped drying my hair and picked up the phone. No calls could get through to a single family member in New York. It would be days before we were certain they were ok; thankfully, they had already gone site seeing and were ok.

I didn't know what this meant for our world. Suddenly, it felt like I wasn't a child anymore. I wasn't a college kid, I was an adult. And the world was crumbling around me.

In Ann Arbor, we had a vigilant that night. I was surrounded by hundreds of other young adults who, like me, didn't know where their place was anymore. We had seen something that took our innocence from us.

I remember looking up in the sky that night, the first of two no fly nights when every plane was grounded, and realized that it was the first time in my life that I'd know for sure the lights I saw were stars and not planes. Somehow that was profound for me.

That Saturday, I went to a football game at Michigan Stadium, the largest stadium in the country (I think). We had a moment of silence after the anthem. I was already fighting back tears, but the fact that so many people were so silent for such a national loss was amazing. I've never felt anything like it before. I think it was the first time I really felt American. And then the jets flew over - I still can't remember why they were at Michigan Stadium - and my breath was just taken away.

September 11th changed me. I have new things to worry about: how close we live to a nuclear power plant, "just in case"; where we're going and if its a terrorist threat; who may want to harm me on a plane. I think about what would happen if I were separated from Griffin and Ryan if there were another terrorist threat, and how I would move the earth to get back to them and keep our family safe.

It's scary, this post-September 11th world we live in, and it's changed a lot of things. There's more racism than I thought still existed, and I think in twenty years if we look back at this time in history we'll start to see the extreme nature of our distrust and assumptions of the Arab American community and Islam. It feels like we live in a different world, and maybe we do.

It's been a long week.

2011-09-10T07:12:00.000-04:00

At our playdate yesterday afternoon (which I almost bailed on because it seemed like just.one.more.thing.to.do.this.week and I wasn't sure I could handle it - but I think it was the best decision I made all week!) everyone asked me how my first week back was.

Exhausting.
Exhilarating.
New.
Full of transition.

And those things are true for all three of us. G and I have a new schedule, and that alters Ryan's schedule. Griffn and I are sleeping less now that we are waking up at 5 am. He's down to one longish nap, but that's from two longish naps. And all in between there are 3 dogs to take care of, a home, a car that needs an oil change, meetings, and more.

He cried the last two mornings I dropped him off. It broke my heart, and if I didn't love his morning teacher as much as I do, I have no doubt I would have sobbed for awhile. I still want to when I think about it.

So it's been good, but rough. I look forward to it getting easier, or at least more tolerable.

Back in the swing of things.

2011-09-06T16:42:00.000-04:00

My hips ACHE. My feet are tired, there's something pinching me in my back, my brain is spinning. But the first day back was good, good, good.

A quick analysis: Eleventh graders are comfortable. Freshman are a trip. English is familar yet distant; Spanish feels the same. I have a new lunch, which means I'll have an almost solid two hours in the middle of my day, between my English AM and my Spanish PM. Perfection.

Also: apparently my haircut makes me look 18 again. Three separate kids thought I was a student! I haven't decided if that's good or bad.

Griffin handled the day pretty smoothly, too - he happily played with trucks while I snuck out of daycare, he napped for a bit, continued munching on snack when I arrived, and went down for a nap when I got home. He seemed to enjoy seeing his old friends again, and has quickly befriended the eldest boy in the room. Sounds like me.

Lots of work to do to get ready for tomorrow, but I'm excited for this year.

The last day.

2011-09-05T07:57:00.000-04:00

I guess I have to finally admit it...summer is over.

Gone are the routines: wake up at 7:30, play until 9, get the little monkey down for a nap, do alone stuff until he wakes up around 11, lunch and errands,maybe meet up with friends...then an afternoon nap at 2 and playing afterwards until daddy gets home.

Gone are the favorites: playing on the slide, swim lessons, lounging in PJs all day, making 2 leisurely cups of coffee, deciding I want something special for dinner and going out to buy it, searching for whatever object is of my desire recently.

Gone is the sleep: No more sleeping from 11-7. New routine is 10-4. Where will I make up those missing hours?

Hello to a new routine that's a bit more rigid - up at 4, have breakfast and coffee before 5, baby at daycare by 5:30, me at work by 5:45, copies and other daily prepwork, class from 7:15 to 2, meetings, etc. Add in their a regular time to eat, drink, pump and plan.

Hello to an easier way to eat healthier. With scheduled times to eat, I have to pre-plan well. Maybe now I'll be able to get that last serving of veggies in that I've been trying for for weeks.

Hello to valuing my free time even more.

Hello to inspiring kids and changing lives.

Shop local and shopping for deals.

2011-09-03T09:39:00.000-04:00

I love getting a goal deal on something. I affectionately call myself a Craigslist Stalker because once I want something, I scour CL every few hours on my phone until I find it. This summer I've scored a tricycle ($10), a bike trailer ($40, never used), and a toddler outdoor climbing structure ($10). I almost always bargain, which I completely think is a dying American trait. But bargaining is big on both sides of my family, so a bargainer I am.

But there are some things I don't mind paying full price for, and that's mostly because it supports a locally owned business - we tend to buy shoes at a local family owned store, and I've bought most of my cloth diapers at a similar place. I prefer to grocery shop at the nearby non-chain store because I know it supports individuals and not a corporation. I buy gas almost exclusively from stations in my immediate community to support them. We buy as much as we can from our farmers market, from breads to pasta to veggies to eggs. Of course we can't only do these things, but we try.

I found this idea, the 3/50 project, on buying from local brick and mortars a few months ago and it's really stuck with me. An awesome idea!

August.

2011-08-26T11:54:00.000-04:00

Every August, something suddenly changes in me - I get fidgety, a bit anxious, my patience is short. I don't do well doing the same thing over and over again, which would make you think I don't do well with the school year, but it's quite the opposite. During the school year, my routine is the same in terms of times/order, but each moment of my teaching day is drastically different, even when I'm teaching the same class 4x in a row. The summer ends up having a monotony for me, which is lovely at first but then forces me to change. And as much as I love being home with Griffin, I know it's time to go back to work.

I have one more week of vacation, a few days of which I plan to work, and it's a busy week with some last minute appointments and meetings. It's a hard balance of easing into things, appeasing my sense of usefulness, and enjoying the lingering moments of summer. It's also a hard transition, and now it's not just my transition but Giffin's, too, which means a whole new classroom, new teachers, new places to explore. It's good, but hard. And so much to be done!

More words! FIFTY!

2011-08-22T08:21:00.002-04:00

I've heard a lot of parents tell their children, "Use your words!" These have always been much older children, 2 or 3 at the earliest. Lately I've been finding myself asking Griffin to use his words because the truth is, he knows a lot. I sign some words as I say them, but he shows little interest in signing and a lot of interest in repeating and mimicking.

On (ah)
Off (uh)
Kitty (it-tee)
Fan (signed)
owie
boom!
bye bye
shoe (tew)
Annie (ah-ne)
Eddie (ehhh-e)
bird (bur)
tree (tee)
wow
hot
hi
hello
car (beep beep)
truck (tuc)
hungry (unree)
airplane (ane)
baby (bee bee)
mom
dada
dog (dah)
duck (duh)
nurse (nah nah)
cow (moo)
up (uh)
agua
remote (moat)
nice (nah)
nose
eye/ojo
banana (nana)
mouth (mah)
balloon (this has morphed into boon)
bubble (buh-bul)
ball
poop (puh)
nite nite
swing (swwww)
button (btin)
please (peas)
more (mah)
raspberry (asberee)
thank you (tin oo)
plane (bee --- dont' know how that happened...)
stuffed animal (he calls these mamus, which is because the first one we named for him is a stuffed mammoth, or mamut in Spanish)
whoa
flower (ow-er)
NO

Words and phrases he also understands but doesn't say:

beso (kiss)
grill
eat
chair
tunnel
horn
honk
gentle
book
dance
close
open
can you find...
bring mama...
where is...
turn around
stairs
sit down
help mama
look
phone
outside

Renaissance.

2011-08-20T22:25:00.000-04:00

I feel like I've undergone a transformation. I don't fully know how to explain it - I wouldn't know where to start to tell you the story from, or how things really happened. All I know is that I feel refreshed in new ways. I'm excited to start a new school year, and don't feel that cloud of depression I tend to feel about this time of summer. It's nice.

New.

2011-08-09T23:43:00.000-04:00

Sometimes, if you take a step back and really try to look at the bigger picture, you'll see it's about waaaaay more than you and the scene at hand. I'd venture to say that's true most of the time, not even just sometimes.

And sometimes, that sadness you find for someone else is so great that it overshadows your own inside sadness. So much so that you can forgive where you never thought you could, and trust where you weren't sure you could. Because the sadness is so profound, so great, that you cannot even begin to imagine what someone else's sadness must be.

It's amazing and awful all at once.

This is how I feel right now.

2011-08-09T10:59:00.001-04:00

IMG_7407, a photo by jessikajessika on Flickr.

A Little Road Trip

2011-08-08T21:09:00.000-04:00

We were invited to a babywearning meetup at the Warren Dunes State Park. If you use your hand as a model of Michigan, that's about an inch down from your pinky, and we live about 1/4 inch above the wrist by your thumb. (I'm probably off, but I love that it's at least an approximation. Thank you, Michigan, for having such a lovely reference shape.) That translates to 3 hours of driving.

I hemmed and hawed over whether we should go - it's a long drive, my car sucks, yada yada yada. And then a friend said to me, "One thing I admire about you is how you're willing to just go and do things, you don't sit around." And that motivated me to pack the car. And then at 3am when my alarm went off (I wanted to do the drive primarily during G's sleeping times, so that meant before he woke up and then during nap time) and I was about to go back to sleep, I thought of her words and whether I'd regret not going. I knew I would, so off we went.

We arrived well before the park opened, so we found another park (after I drove around aimlessly for awhile). First we saw this sweet little dune:

...and then took some photos together. This photo was within the first ten I took, and totally made the drive worth it.

We shared footprints in the sand...

But then we went to the other beach and Little Man wanted to play in the sand, too, so he did.

He also chased the "bur" (bird).

We wrapped one last time to climb some dunes...

...and then watched the brave swimmers (it was cold rough water!) as we waited for our wrapping friends to arrive.

We made some great new friends and had a wonderful time. It was an exhausting day, but totally worth the drive. I love that we were able to just get in the car and drive. I wonder where we'll drive to next...

Thankful.

2011-08-07T21:59:00.002-04:00

I am thankful for yesterday, for tomorrow, and for today.

Thank you for reminding me of all I have.

Dear Griffin -14 months

2011-08-01T07:47:00.001-04:00

IMG_7464, a photo by jessikajessika on Flickr.

Dearest sweet boy:

You're 14 months old now. I keep thinking about how different this summer is from last, how different you and I are now. You don't need to eat every two hours; you can wear sunscreen, I need to plan for things where you can explore. Your schedule is a bit more predictable, and I search for things we'll both enjoy - playdates, swimming lessons, splash pads. It has been a great summer.

Your vocabulary has really expanded a lot recently, and I think there are 30+ words you regularly say plus a ton of which you know but don't say yourself. Every stuffed animal right now is a 'mamu", because your mamut (mammoth) stuffed animal from Tia is the first you recognized.

We took your first road trip and went up to Mackinac Island this month. You were a trooper, aside from that one disasterous dinner (which really turned out wonderfully, and thank you for that - we had dinner on the beach while the sunset and you played in the sand. AMAZING CHOICE!). The horses were neat. You took an awesome nap in the bike trailer. And you were just so curious.

In general, you're a lot more curious now. You love opening cabinets and drawers. You love pointing to stuff and having us tell you what it is. Sometimes we have to wait very patiently while you finish playing with a toy or you become VERY disagreeable. But most of the time, you are smiley and happy as can be.

I think you know you melt my heart when you say, "momee momee MOMEE!" but when you started purposefully giving kisses, my heart permanently turned into mush. You are amazing, kiddo, simply amazing.

Love,

Momee

Griffin WALKS.

2011-07-31T18:10:00.000-04:00

Walking! He is walking more than 50% of the time so we'll call him a walker. I credit the squeaky sandals.

Talk about language explosion!

2011-07-25T09:06:00.001-04:00

Add to the list:

Ah (on)
Uf (off)
it-tee (kitty)
fan (he signs for this one though)
owie
peas (please)
tew (shoe)

He also knows the meaning of truck, phone, gafas (sunglasses), eyes, car, swing, sprinkler, dance, mamut, book, and probably a ton of other things I can't recall or fully realize yet.

Oh, and he TOTALLY knows where the laptop power button is...(we won't even talk about all the missing or delapidated keys...)

Word!

2011-07-23T08:04:00.001-04:00

To date, here are words Griffin uses and understands:

beh bee (baby)
mom (Yup, just like Stewie from The Family Guy, repeated over and over and over...)
dada
dog (dah - this also covers horses)
moo (for cow)
nah-nah (nurse)
uh (up)
doh (down)
a-wah (agua)
ba-oon (balloon)
buh-bul (bubble)
bah (ball)
burrr (bird)
duh (duck)
twee (tree)
puh (poop)
shuh (shoe)
no (always said with a giant exclamation)
uh oh
boom

That's 20 so far at just under 14 months, but I'm sure I'm forgetting a few. He has a few names down (Ella, (H)enry, etc.) too.

Fever 1

2011-07-11T11:17:00.001-04:00

HIP_332076898.694694, a photo by jessikajessika on Flickr.

Friday he felt warm to me, but we'd been walking around the art fair all day, wrapped and in hot weather, so I didn't think much of it. Had he been acting differently I might of. Saturday he felt warm, and Saturday night I finaly caved and took his temp: 102.6. Then, at 3am when he was tossing and turning, it was 103.6 and we gave a dose of motrin to help him sleep. Sunday he was ravenous and seemed fine, but that night his fever rose again and I finally called the after hours clinic, who said to bring him in because at his age any fever longer than 24 hours should be seen, even though they no longer recommend medicating fevers unless it helps the comfort of the child.

The ER diagnosed him with...a fever. No ear infection, no rash. Nothing new to me. I don't really know why I caved and brought him there, other than my own inexperience with fevers and ear infections that I thought I might be missing something important. Nothing suggested to do but keep him comfortable and wait it out.

We've been really lucky that he's been so healthy, and other than his marathon nap today he seems to be feeling pretty normal. He wanted to play in his sandbox this morning, so he can't be feeling too badly, right?

Oslo.

2011-07-07T07:12:00.003-04:00

A friend's French bulldog, who is so extremely near and dear to her heart, needed emergency spinal surgery. He suddenly became partially paralyzed due to a herniated disc, and surgery (or putting him to sleep) was their only option. It was $7000 on top of the initial bills for his care. Today, Oslo turns 3 - pretty young for a Frenchie. Can you help Oslo and his family?

T.

2011-07-06T21:58:00.001-04:00

IMG_7245, a photo by jessikajessika on Flickr.

This is totally him to a T. And no, that's not a booger in his nose, that's dinner he managed to snort out post-bath.

Parks!

2011-07-04T21:54:00.001-04:00

HIP_331501025.671293, a photo by jessikajessika on Flickr.

We spent a good deal of time today driving around to find a perfect park. We stopped at one that was almost perfect and on the way home scoped out a few others for the future. This photographic moment, though, was perfect just the way it was.

Summer Days.

2011-07-03T07:36:00.001-04:00

HIP_331077819.148873, a photo by jessikajessika on Flickr.

I attempted to implement a two day a week stay home policy in order to save money and have two absolutely no spending days, not even $1. We made it almost through one day before I decided it was horrible and not worth it. Griffin, much like myself, is not a homebody; he needs to see new things, go new places, to be entertained and happy.

So instead of staying at home all day two days a week, we're supplementing with things like grocery shopping, walking to the post office, going swimming, enjoying a new park. We're much happier, he's napping much better (though we haven't fully gotten that groove down yet). Some days he still wants to toddle around the front yard and hang out on the sidewalk. He's not walking yet, but his latest mode of transportation is the bear crawl. My kiddo is a funny one.

Nursing a toddler.

2011-06-29T00:01:00.001-04:00

(First of all, I'm not sure Griffin fits into my personal definition of a toddler yet because he's not walking; at the same time, I realize that denial isn't just a river in Egypt and that he is probably a toddler despite the walking factor.)

I ran into a college friend yesterday and one of the things she asked me was what it was like nursing a toddler; her oldest nursling stopped shy of ten months, so she had no personal experience.

My first response was: "Quick!" As in, he takes 8 minutes tops to nurse when he's on the fly. It used to be that when he wanted to nurse I settled myself down for the next 45 minutes to an hour, back in the day. But "quick" also means a bunch of 2 minute sessions throughout the day, just for the sake of making sure I'm still here, I guess, and a bunch of quick sessions at night to lull him back to sleep.

Nursing a thirteen month old can't quite be summed in one word, though. It's comforting to nurse him (and no, I don't call it "extended" nursing, because that implies that I should have stopped; biologically, I believe it's to his advantage to nurse well into this second year of his life) for both himself and me - for me, it's a way for us to reconnect when I'm working. For him, it's reassurance and safety.

Griffin also has underlying dairy and soy issues, so we've stayed away from those, so nursing a toddler is also nurishment he literally cannot get elsewhere; there is no other milk as fit for him that provides the protein, antibodies, and nutrients. He still gets these requirements AND his own comfort needs; I can't think of anything better.

At times, nursing a toddler is like a circus act. Now he likes to twist and turn, but his favorite feat is to have his feet at his face as he nurses. Sometimes he swaps out nursing for chewing on his toes, and then goes back to nursing. He likes to put his fingers in my mouth or play with my hair; my necklace is a favorite hang toy. Sometimes it's fun to nurse upside down, too. (I'm not such a fan of that one.)

It's harder to be discrete about nursing with him this age because he's sooooo interested in the world around him every.single.second. But, we're at the stage where there are more bumps and bruises so nursing calms that and is always a backup plan if hugs and kisses don't work. Nighttime would be insane without nursing, and I love that even though he ravages our fridge and pantry, nothing satisfies him the same way nursing does. And when I pull a big OOPSIE! and forget to bring enough snacks for him, we always have two options: stop and grab him something since he is so open to eating everything, particularly healthy things, or nurse.

Each day I think I'm getting increasingly aware that in a lot of segments of American culture nursing something that moves is tabboo, let alone something that is almost walking. A year ago I never would have imagined what it would be like to nurse a toddler - I always figured that we'd stop when he could ask for it. But as our nursing relationship grew, I couldn't imagine it. Then I read an article about mothers don't stop giving their children formula the second they can ask for it, so why should breastfeeding be any different? And then it just stopped mattering. This is what's best for him.

Each nursing session now I'm reminded that just like our babywearing days are limited, so are our nursing days. He wasn't my infant forever, and he won't be my toddler or nursling forever. I'm going to enjoy these toddler nursing sessions as much as I can, soak in his sweet expressions and silly smiles, because I just can't predict when they'll end and he'll have found nurishment and comfort elsewhere. For now, nursing a toddler is quick but it's wonderful, too.

Dear Griffin - 13 months

2011-06-27T21:47:00.000-04:00

Dear Griffin:

Somehow you are now 13 months old. It's your second summer already, and I can't help but marvel at how different this summer is from last. We're doing some of the same things as last summer - art fairs, farmers markets, festivals - but you're full of such personality now. Last year you were snuggly and sleepy; this year, you are vibrant and full of life everywhere we go. You are mischevious and clever, sweet and silly. You make friends wherever we go, and I always think about how much you are opening my eyes to this world around us.

You are a super curious kid this past month, and you love climbing as well as exploring. Everything. I'm not squemish about germs, but sometimes I have to remind myself that "dirt don't hurt" because you sure do like to get dirty. Every time you sit in sand you taste it. You like to play in literal dirt, and in woodchips. You'll crawl anywhere. And I keep thinking that it'd be so much easier if you were walking, because I wouldn't have to worry about as much dirt. Then again, you'd just get into dirt further away from me as I chase after you, so I think it balances out in the end. Because you're so much more active these days, we're struggling a bit with sleeping and with wrapping you. You are so independent and love being able to explore at your whim that sleep and wrapping sometimes get in your way - at home, anyway. When we're out on the go you seem easier to handle, and I always think that you have that streak in you like I do: we just aren't homebodies and don't do well being stuck at home all day. I don't blame you, buddy. There is a lot of interesting stuff in the world.

You're not walking yet, but I definitely don't think that's because you can't...I think you're just not interested enough yet, and more interested in getting places as quickly as possible. It doesn't hold you back all. You're very stable on your feet, even with those adorable new Keen shoes I bought you (your first pair! I've been waiting for that for MONTHS) and on grass. Sometimes you'll take two or three steps but so far no more than that. Instead, you're focusing your time on chatting and socializing; you regularly say mama, dada, da (dog), nite nite, beebee (baby), ah (up), behbeh (bye bye), twee (tree), no, and a few other things. I'm not always convinced you know what everthing means, but I think you get most of it. It's really neat.

There are no new teeth, but you did have your first haircut and you were a champ. We were crazy impressed. Some of your favorites this month include the fake cell phone I bought you for your new car toy (no more screaming in the carseat!), light switches, your ball pit, remote controls, your pirate ship, and cars. Favorite foods include watermelon (you are soooo your daddy's child!), veggie burgers, meatballs, mandarin oranges, or anything off of someone else's plate. You can use a fork pretty efficiently when you're motivated (and when I can find the fork) and are not a picky eater - just another thing I love about you, your willingness to try new things.

I love being your mama, little man. You are awesome and when I wake up everyday I remind myself I need to be the best mama I can for you, because you deserve the best. Thank you for being wonderful.

Summer!

2011-06-17T10:01:00.000-04:00

It's the first morning of summer and I have already done a load of diapers (rinse, wash, rinse, rinse, and hang dry), started a second load of diapers (step 2 of that load), tried a new coffee place, gone on a long walk at the botanical gardens in a cozy wrap, taken a few photos, and convinced Griffin to nap (he woke up super early and was super grumpy as a result).

The best part of my day, though, has been the lack of hearing my alarm go off at 4:35am. I do NOT miss that alarm!

Still on deck is lots of outside playing - sandbox, swing, water table. I'm going to do some searching for more shade in our backyard and hopefully read on nap 2, and of course finish the laundry. If Griffin's new UV shirt arrived today we'd go to the splash park, but it's not slated to arrive until Monday. :( We are in need of some groceries, too, so that's on the agenda. It's wonderful to not have a set schedule!

First haircut.

2011-06-13T18:11:00.001-04:00

IMG_6977, a photo by jessikajessika on Flickr.

Sunday I felt the pending doom and knew it was a "now or never" thing for Griffin's first haircut. It had to be done eventually, and might as well happen while I was feeling brave.

We walked to Cookie Cutters across the street (when we first moved in, we were sooooo dissapointed when we discovered it was not a bakery!) and signed in. Griffin played happily while I snapped photos, and then Ryan asked me if I wanted to get the first photo package. The one that included the LOCK OF HAIR.

My eyes welled up and I wasn't sure we could do it. Thirty minutes later we had a lock of hair (haven't been able to bring myself to look at it!), a bunch of photos, and a boy with a trim haircut. He looks older, but not as much as I thought he would so I think I'm ok with it. One haircut in a lifetime might be enough for me, though.

Graduate.

2011-06-10T22:32:00.000-04:00

Today our seniors did their last walk through the halls. Dressed in their caps and gowns and walking to sad yet reflective music they walked the whole building. Some sobbed each step of the way and others beamed. Many stopped for hugs from their teachers, their friends, their siblings.

It was touching to watch and be a part of, and even non-crying me did some crying today. This graduating class is the second class I ever taught, and it's so neat to see how far they've come since my eighth grade classroom. They are going on to college, to the military, to trade schools. They have grown and matured, blossomed. They have changed and will continue to change. I'm privleged to have been a part of their lives for however brief or however fleeting, and can only hope that I have impacted them in even the slighest way. They sure have impacted me.

Where'd he learn THAT?

2011-06-05T08:28:00.001-04:00

IMG_6914, a photo by jessikajessika on Flickr.

In the past week I can't recount how many times I've asked - to no one in particular, sometimes - "Where'd he learn THAT?" It used to be that I thought anything we didn't teach him was something he'd picked up at daycare; now, though, there are things Griffin is discovering and doing that they couldn't possibly have done at daycare. He's such a smart little boy!

Yesterday we discovered that he can walk UP slides, bear crawl, and climb up stairs super quickly.

Dear Griffin - one.

2011-05-28T21:20:00.000-04:00

Dear Griffin:

Today, you turned one. One! 364 and 1/4 days old. I can hardly believe it.

You have learned so many amazing things in this past year; this time last year, you cried, slept, and pooped. You were adorable, but hardly were ever awake. I enjoyed your snuggles and miss them fiercely, but I also deeply enjoy the way you reach for me now, or how your face lights up when you see me. There's nothing that can replace that and even when I want to go back and enjoy your newborn snuggles, I wouldn't trade these big(ger) kid snuggles for anything.

You can stand unassisted now, but aren't too interested in it. You do, however, know how to back off the couch safely. I'm pretty sure you are referencing the dogs when you say "dah", which is not to be confused with "dada". You do say mama, but I'm not 100% convinced you know when/why/how/where all of the time. Soon enough, I hope.

We learned the other day that suddenly you understand how your duplos work and can put them together as well as pull them apart. Toys that make noise and involve balls are hugely amusing to you. The water table we bought you for your birthday was a giant hit, as was the swingset your daddy built for you. Grandma D bought you a sandbox because you loved the sand in Florida so much, and you love it just as much here.

The big food discovery this month was shrimp, on your birthday dinner. You ate tons! We thought you might not stop eating. There doesn't seem to be anything you don't like. To date, you've had exactly 1 french fry (it was a total accident) and no artificial sweets until your birthday party. Bananas and sweet potatoes are still forerunners in your favorite foods, but you like most things.

You are so smiley and laid back. I adore that about you. When we go someplace, you find someone to focus on and do all sorts of adorable things to get them to pay attention to you. They always do. People everywhere remark about how friendly and smiley you are. I hope that never changes, buddy. It's a great trait.

I made you this video in celebration of your first year. I can hardly watch it without crying, but I love it so. I love you, little man, more than I knew my heart could love. You make my heart sing, and thank you for that.

Love,

Mama

almost time

2011-05-21T22:29:00.002-04:00

In less than a week Griffin will be one. This time last year I was still at home but on the verge of induction #2 with Griffin's pregnancy. It's so amazing to think about how much has changed in a year - he has gone from a tiny infant to a squirming, shining, smiling, laughing, bouncing almost-toddler. It's all so sad and so wonderful at the same time that I almost don't even know how to wrap my brain around it. Can we stop time please?

Make-a-Wish

2011-05-07T11:49:00.000-04:00

Griffin and I did the Make-a-Wish walk today at the Detroit Zoo (we seem to spend a lot of time at zoos lately!). There were over 1600 people there, much to Griffin's delight (he's quite the people watcher). It was really touching to see all the people walking to honor the wishes of loved ones who have passed on; what an amazing legacy they have left behind. It was nice to be with so many people who had taken time out of their day to raise money for children to be granted their wishes during dark moments in their lives. So touching. It made me thankful to have my dear Griffin snuggled up in a wrap, happy and healthy. It's the little things in life that we take for granted, isn't it?

Dear Griffin - 11 months

2011-04-28T20:34:00.000-04:00

Dearest baby Griffin:

You rung in your 11 month birthday in true style - you threw up (like, REALLY threw up!) for the first time.

For a moment it looked like you were posessed by demons. But you didn't have a fever and weren't really any different, so we thought everything was ok and it was just a fluke. You went to sleep no problem...but in the middle of the night you woke daddy by almost puking all over him. And then you pooped all over him. And then you were fine. We were pretty happy to go all day without daycare calling to say you were sick.

You and me went to Florida again this month, and daddy missed us like crazy. You ate some sand, watched lots of animals, and enjoyed lots of people to play with. On the plane ride there you didn't sleep a wink! But you were still an awesomely behaved babe. Another point of the trip worth mentioning is that you are fearless; touching a snake and a gator totally didn't phase you. It's neat, how curious and fearless you are.

This month you've actually started saying some real words...not always in the right way, but in the middle of Meijer last Friday I noticed you were correctly identifying "mama" and "dada". You are CONSTANTLY pointing to learn the names of new things, particularly flowers, trees, fans, and lights. There is a distinct noise for words you are trying to say, like bye bye. Most of the time you get the wave down now, too. One thing you love to do is pile blocks into other toys, which made playing in the sand on the beach a great activity for you.

For the most part you have cruising down good, and I'm curious if you'll be walking by your first birthday. I don't know. You still happily eat all foods - you eat so healthy, little one! And everywhere we go you make friends. It's that smile.

I love you more and more each minute, each smile, each laugh. Just when I think I couldn't possibly love you more, I realize that I do. You are truly amazing.

The best zoo ever: The Brevard Zoo near Cocoa Beach, Florida

2011-04-22T12:57:00.000-04:00

Griffin and I did a lot of neat things when we were in Florida earlier this week, but going to the Brevard Zoo was easily one of the highlights of the trip. A quick google search pre-visit revealed the comment by someone that it was the best zoo they'd ever been to; I was automatically skeptical, because extreme opinions on google don't always match up with my own personal beliefs. Off we went, and I quickly discovered that I agreed whole heartedly with the review: the Brevard Zoo is certainly the best I've ever been to.

To start, the zoo is a very managable size with a fantastic layout. The whole thing is a circle broken up into several smaller loops based on geographic region (like La Selva, or the rainforest). The regions are all boardwalk style and offer a lot of shade from the Florida sun. The looping design means no back tracking and makes it easy to see virtually everything the zoo has to offer. The animals are in enclosers below, and all look fabulously content and happy. There were a lot of free animals which was neat, although it was a bit wild when the vultures or whatever they were were flying over head.

The first part of the zoo we visited was the hands-on kids zone, which included a food-free petting zone (to keep the animals from becoming food agressive) where we could touch llamas, goats, armadillos, alpacas, and this giant lizard thing (name escapes me, but it was neat). The handlers were super informative and the animals had areas that were roped off from guests so they could rest. There was also a toddler wading pool and a special outdoor nursing area that I found super cute.

In the Austrialian loop, we bought some nectar for the lorikeets and fed them. They were so friendly and neat! The whole bird enclosure is walk through and the birds are super close. It was more like a butterfly house with birds.

The other exhibit where you can feed the animals is the giraffe encounter. We didn't really encounter any hungry giraffes, but it was amazing to be so close to such beautiful creatures. There were no lines or special feeding times - it was all left up to the animals. If they weren't hungry, they didn't sell any food. Very neat.

Coupled with a morning trip to the beach, visiting the Brevard Zoo made for a perfect day.

The story of how my car was stolen.

2011-04-16T10:28:00.000-04:00

Picture this: It's 5:30am on a Friday before 10 days of spring break. I'm happy because it's Friday, it's almost spring break, and it's a jeans and a t-shirt sort of day. I load up my arms with the baby's daycare stuff and my school stuff. I open the garage door to the darkness and only see Ryan's car.

I look down the street to the left. No car, though a few parked there and mine might be further back if Ryan moved it. Nothing to the right.

Look again at cars to the left; none of them appear to be an SUV.

Insert scream of "OH MY GOD!" here. I'm sure my neighbors loved that at 5:30am.

Went back into the house and demanded Ryan tell me where my car was. He knows nothing. I keep repeating it's gone. Almost want to laugh, this seems so crazy.

We cannot remember who locked the car. The garage is clear, but he didn't move the car in. And I know my spare keys were in the car.*

Call the police and give them the details - where I saw it last, when I noticed it missing, distinguishing marks (why can I not remember anything else on my coexist sticker but the star of David and the cross?). I'm totally calm now, because I am missing a CAR and not a human being. My family is safe, including my four legged members. Cars are meaningless compared to them all.

I call work, stuttering because I'm not sure what kind of day this is - personal illness? Family illness? I don't even know the date. I think I said my name 3 or 45 times.

It dawns on me to call Onstar. I set everything up with them (boy are they smart to not notify me where they find the car but to contact the police first) and, realizing there is nothing left to do, get in Ryan's car (promising him it won't get stolen) and go get my sub plans at work set up. His car has clearly been rummaged through, but his Oakley sunglasses and GPS are fine.

On my way home, I call MEEMIC, our insurance company. They insist on buying us a new carseat, regardless of the outcome. I'm happy. Ten minutes later, all the phone calls have been made and there is nothing to do but wait. I cannot drive around the block again looking for my car. I cannot drive the highway to find it. The urge to do something - anything - is so strong in these moments for me. So instead we go out to breakfast.

Onstar calls. Have you heard anything from the police yet, they ask. I interpret this to mean they have found my car. He confirms, and says they are waiting to make an arrest.

At home, life goes on as normal. I make a list of what is missing - most upset about not knowing the wearabouts of the carseat for who knows how many hours, and my missing baby wraps that I wanted to take on our trip.

A few hours later, the phone rings. They've found my car in Inkster, about 25 minutes away. It looks fine but it's locked, so they can't tell. The cop is actually the son of the secretary in my building; he recognized my work parking sticker and called me as soon as he got my contact information from his mother. What a small world.

We go to pick up my car, paying the $115 fee. Car truly does look fine. The keys the officer thought were the car keys are actually my mailbox and miscellaneous keys; key fob is no where to be found, but the car was indeed locked. Using my real car keys, we open it up and find not a thing missing - GPS is still there, old iPhone is still there. Nothing hardly appears moved. There are some cigarette ashes on the front seat, but no damage. The car seems to drive fine.

Without Onstar, who knows how long it would have been before my car was recovered from sitting on the side of the road. Maybe it would have been restolen. But I can't help but feel thankful that the person who stole it obviously had a need for transportation but didn't feel obliged to steal personal items. I'm missing my spare keys and the car now needs to be rekeyed for my peace of mind, but it could have been MUCH worse.

About keeping the spare in the car - I realize this isn't smart. But I always lock my car; I think the issue with the other night was that we weren't paying attention to who was responsible for locking the car as we were walking in, coupled with the fact that the car wasn't in the garage as it normally is. The spare are in the car for 2 reasons: 1, if there is a bomb threat at school and I don't bring my keys and we're not allowed back in, I can still get home to Griffin after Onstar opens my doors; 2, in case Griffin gets locked in - I typically keep the spare in my pocket when I'm going places with him, so I don't have to worry if the car auto locks the door in the 20 seconds it does. Dunno how I'm going to solve this one other than to see if they can reprogram it to have a resonable locking system.

CAR!

2011-04-15T09:20:00.000-04:00

To the punk who stole my car out of my driveway:

You seriously stink. I hope they are arresting you. I think I can honestly say I hate you. What did you want with a SUV with baby wraps, baby clothing, and a carseat, anyway? Why did you did through my husband's car but leave all of his stuff? GET OUT OF MY NEIGHBORHOOD.

Sincerely,

Me

-------------

If your car is ever stolen (let's hope it's not though), you should 1.) contact the police; 2.) call Onstar if you have it (they actually found the vehicle and notified the police about it's location - smart they didn't tell me, because I would have found a way there to get my stuff) and 3.) call your insurance company.

Let's see what's next...

48 to go.

2011-04-14T20:56:00.000-04:00

In 48 hours we will be on a plane to Florida. Right now, the baby has some clothes ready (and food, I suppose, since there's a constant supply of that inherently). Oh, and a couple of new toys to entertain in extreme situations. But he has no diapers ready, and we're still not sure which suitcase we'll use (waiting on hubby to bring down the mama bear sized one).

Me, on the other hand...I have nothing. Nothing is ready for me except two pairs of pants. I don't know what sandals I'm bringing. My toiletries aren't ready. I need to buy conditioner and I've been needing new PJ pants for months so now is the time. I need to do laundry and while we're being honest I could use some new underwear since it's probably been almost two years since I bought any (how is that possible?!). I have to fold and PACK. I also have a few presents to buy, a bunch of errands to run, a full day of work, a dinner party at Griffin's school with the easter bunny/easter egg hunt, and all that other stuff. I know it'll get done, but I wish there were a few more hours in the day to get it done at some pace other than breakneak!

Sometimes...

2011-04-12T21:01:00.001-04:00

Sometimes people are just annoying. That is all.

"Caring".

2011-04-02T10:52:00.000-04:00

If someone is described as a "caring parent", what do you picture? I picture someone who soothes a hurt elbow or heart, who teaches children to play gently with other beings. I picture someone who fosters a sense of responsibility and respect for the each, someone who shows a child how to help other before helping themselves, a person who meets a child's needs whenever possible and whenever appropriate.

And then I thought about it: does that mean if one doesn't do these things one isn't caring?

Of course there are levels of caring, like everything. Just because a parent doesn't have the time or resources to do all these things doesn't mean they don't care; I think we all work within the parameters we have (though some people are clearly more resourceful in stretching those parameters than others). But just because you don't teach your kid to recycle doesn't mean you don't care. On that same note, just because you scream at your kid may not mean you don't care either, though I don't agree that it's a particularly caring way to parent.

I'd like to think that being a caring parent is something that most people value. I don't know that that's true, though. I wish it were. I wish people spoke with their actions instead of their words. They speak a lot louder and longer.

Dear Griffin - 10 months

2011-03-28T17:25:00.000-04:00

Dear Griffin:

I snuggled with you while you napped the other day, which is absolutely one of my most favorite things in the world to do, and I whispered to you all my hopes and dreams for you.

I hope you're kind and loving, but know when to stick up for yourself and be true to who you are.
I hope you defend others and support them, even when it's tough.
I hope you find a girl someday (maaaaaaany years from now!) who you love as much as I love your daddy.
I hope you work hard and make good choices as often as possible.
I hope you're the kind of student teachers say they hope their kids turn out to be - I know how much that means.
I hope you see the beauty in things and are never afraid to smile, laugh, or play.
I hope you change your world in whatever way works for you.
I hope you know how to have fun and laugh.

You have done a lot of cool things this month. Like today you showed us your awesome mimicking skills by shaking your head no when we say "nooooooo!" in a fun voice. Only you don't know how to shake just your head, so you shake your whole body. Same thing with nodding your head. And you loooove clapping for yourself - often you'll stop midtask and start clapping, looking at us to accompany you with a "yah!" like we always do. It was awesome the morning you woke up with a smile on your face and clapping. I think EVERYONE should wake up like that.

Now that you're pretty confident with the standing business, you're super confident with getting down from standing (you have three ways - splits, leaning down, or plopping on your rear) you've started cruising from spot to spot. I don't think you'll be walking before your first birthday, but you never know I suppose. We discovered you know how to use a straw, too, which was pretty neat.

Everyone who meets you proclaims you a smiley, happy baby. I hope that never changes, little one. I hope you face life with a smile on your face and happiness in your heart. I'm making it my mission to help you with that because I think those are wonderful traits.

Also: I know I said it was ok for you to break my phone, but I was thinking it would take you longer. Please be nice to my phone until the new iPhone comes out. I would be super bummed to have to replace my phone before then. Thanks, little man.

Love,

Mama

The Parenting Dilemma Begins.

2011-03-24T17:01:00.000-04:00

As Griffin gets older - I cannot believe I've been a parent for almost a full YEAR! - I find myself in more and more prediciments where I'm faced with parenting dilemmas in relationship to others. I guess in a way I feel like I'm finding my legs for parenting and where I stand on issues.

As a whole, when I support something I support it fully. It's easy for me to support breastfeeding because I believe it's what's best for babies. Same thing goes for waiting until 6 months to start solids. I think it's important to meet your child's needs whenever possible - that means not letting them cry it out, that means not forcing them to do things they are developmentally not ready for. I don't care that people think co-sleeping or bed sharing is wrong or harmful...I know it's not because I've done my research. I will keep Griffin rear facing in his car seat for as long as possible because it's best for him.

If people have a problem with these decisions, that's THEIR issue. We're making choices based on what we think is best, and we don't make big decisions lightly. Just because something was done one way in the past doesn't mean it's best, or has to be done that way. Times change. People are full of advice, though, and a lot of people are convince their way is the only way to raise a child. Of course kids survive when they are fed solids at 3 months; but the research supports that their digestive systems aren't ready for it and that it can lead to a greater risk of obesity.

I'm very happy with our decisions. What I struggle with is how to help other mamas without coming across as condescending or like I think my parenting decisions are superior. I think there's a balance that I sometimes have but sometimes struggle with. On one hand, I think parenting decisions are pretty personal and are choices. On the other hand, when someone is making a choice that I wouldn't make for my own child because I perceive it as dangerous, I'm sometimes stuck wondering what I should do instead of actually doing something. Somewhere there's a balance that I have to find and I'm not sure how.

The Countdown Begins

2011-03-20T08:00:00.000-04:00

Twelve weeks until summer. (I only know this because we've started our last trimester at school.) In between then and now I have a trip to Florida, a first birthday party for Griffin, Memorial Day, a few doctor's appointments, and a whole lot of work. But the weather has been warmer - the other day we went for a walk and Griffin didn't even wear socks while he was wrapped on my back! - and given us a taste of spring, which we are itching for here in Michigan.

Every so often I find my mind wandering to Japan...the four month old infant swept out of her parents' arms but found safe later, how people have fully intact houses but are terrified they are structurally unsound so they sleep outside, next to them. I cannot imagine how that would feel, the sense of urgency everything must have and how upside down life must suddenly seem. I think that if something of that magnitude happened here we wouldn't be nearly as peaceful about it, and that's a shame. It's also terrifying. In Japan, they have no countdown right now, just so much waiting and the challenge of getting through each day with true basic needs. It makes me hug my loved ones close and so thankful that we are safe.

Awesomeness

2011-03-14T21:27:00.000-04:00

I'm busy trying to figure out how to profoundly thank my new hairdresser for the amazingness that she has done for me. It used to take me fifteen minutes to dry my hair; a couple inches shorter and a lot less thickness, and it takes me five. FIVE! It's amazing. The whole shebang, between drying and touch up straightening, only takes fifteen minutes tops now. And these days that is some precious time saved.

Since she did such awesomeness with my hair, I'm wondering if she can do awesomeness in other areas of my life -with the small dog that speaks French downstairs who has been barking since Ryan went to the gym, or with my lack of quick adjustment to daylight savings time. She is awesome, so I guess you never know!

Griffin update

2011-03-13T17:45:00.000-04:00

Baby boy now knows how to sit up from laying down, how to get to either his knees or his bum from standing, and that the windows are low enough for him to see out of if he's curious enough. He knows how to drink out of a straw and makes the funniest face when tasting water. Apparently he's a meatball and beet kind of guy. And some top teeth are about to make an appearance!

Just when I thought we were safe for a little while!

New Sofas

2011-03-13T07:47:00.000-04:00

We are HARD on our sofas. The first we bought lasted us three years and let me tell you, microfiber is NOT the best fabric for dogs despite what stores will tell you. The second set of sofas we bought were giant, heavy, looming, reclining bonded leather, which held up wonderfully up until the last few months. Their lifetime lasted two years, which is only justified by the fact that we got them so cheap. The common "Annie seat" showed some serious deterioration so it was time to move on. Last weekend we ordered our new sofas. We're told leather holds up to pets best, but we'll see. We have the protection policy for 7 years, so I'd be happy if these beat our previous record of a three year lifetime of sofas.

Henry approves of the new sofa, though if he continues to lay on the cushion instead of the seat we are going to have serious problems.

The baby approves of the new sofa because it's perfect walking height.

Annie, however, does not approve of the new sofa because it's higher. She spent last night barking to get down and then barking to get back up - probably a total of two hours barking. We sleep through it now, thankfully. This morning I found her on it again, so obviously she overcame her fear and found a way to get up.

It's nice to have seating for the six of us all at once, I have to say.

Facebook is puzzling.

2011-03-06T20:53:00.000-05:00

I don't think it's a coincidence that we watched The Social Network last night and today comes another rash of banned photos of nursing babies. I just don't understand. There are women barely clothed, underage kids with alcohol and other illegal things, and no photos are banned. But a nursing mama - or even a picture implying nursing! - is banned.

One, I think there are clearly people who have very little to do and too much time on their hands that go through photos and click on the inappropriate button. Two, I think that these people are dillusional, narrow-minded and way out of touch with the reality of nature.

When I think about these photos being banned, I picture sweet innocent Mark Zuckerberg "wired in" and his eyes rolling back into his head just prior to fainting and falling out of the chair when seeing a nursing picture. Too bad his mother didn't expose him to nursing when he was growing up, right?

Dear Griffin - 9 months

2011-02-28T09:16:00.000-05:00

Dearest baby boy:

I have no idea how nine months have passed since you were born. I've decided that instead of my dream of winning the lottery I'd prefer to win a time travel machine - this way I could go back in time and savor each moment with you even more, and also go ahead in time and see fun things (like lottery numbers, hehe). Every time you do something new it's so exciting and so scary all at once.

In a matter of a month, you've become AWESOME at crawling. You have some speed, little dude! You're not super interested in crawling on hands and knees, but the army crawl is suiting you just fine. And then, a few days after you got good at that, you were all about standing up. And then the next day you were all about PULLING yourself up. The other thing you're suddenly really into is crawling over things - over balls, over toys, over furniture. Things changed so fast that my head was spinning!

Same thing with eating. You eat everything. It's wonderful and scary. The other night at dinner, after you went through 2 package of mum mums and we were beginning to panic about what we'd feed you next since your steamed carrots hadn't arrived and you were literally stealing things off of dad's salad, we gave you a black olive. We both hate them, but figured you could give them a chance. Of course you loved them. Same thing with cajun-spiced mahi mahi, tomato basil noodles, and beyond. We're trying to give you a variety of flavors so that you don't have such bland stuff. I still don't think we've really come across anything you dislike, and that makes me so happy because it's just one more way for you to experience the world.

Your first tooth has just popped through and we can finally see a tiny bit of it. There are babies your age on tooth 7 or 8, and you're just getting one - but we're not sweating it. Even though it's probably pretty uncomfortable for you, you've been a trooper. For a few days you were a tad bit grumpier than usual, but nothing really noticable. You are still your smiling, shining self.

Cousin Kyra spent the night with us this month, and I think you enjoyed having full time built-in entertainment. You completed your first ceramic masterpiece, too, which you seemed to enjoy. You are sleeping wonderfully most nights, snug between daddy and me. We wouldn't have it any other way (for the time being, anyway!).

I keep thinking about this summer and how it will be so different from the last. Last summer we worried about the sun, the heat, when we'd feed you next. This summer you may well be walking - we'll go to the zoo and you'll probably want to walk and be carried. We'll go to the splash park and you'll be able to splash! I'm so excited for all these things, Griffindor. So excited.

Love,

Mama

Henry

2011-02-25T16:46:00.001-05:00

IMG_0044
Originally uploaded by jessikajessika

This is Henry, our first bulldog. In the photo he has two eyes, but shortly afterwards he had a series of issues that caused him to lose one of them. Today we learned he has an eye infection in his good eye. Leave it to Henry to be the only of our dogs to ever have an eye infection.

The story of Henry is this: we found him on craigslist just before we were truly ready for a dog. Ryan and I were both finishing up college and though he could have dogs at his place, I couldn't and we weren't living together just yet. Henry came to us because he was being abused by demonic children in the house where he grew up, and his first owners didn't know much about bulldogs. At Ryan's place, after we adopted him, he didn't get along with the other house dog at first but came to love him.

Henry shakes his butt when you get home, even if you've only been taking out the trash. He loves human company even when he's in a sour mood (I've never met a moody dog - I think Henry is actually part cat). He loves tennis ball toys and picking on our other dogs. He'll lay in your lap and sleep with his head resting on your leg. He's a good dog, and I hope he stops doing silly things to risk his health. I hope his eye heals, too.

A Tuesday that was good for my soul.

2011-02-22T17:25:00.000-05:00

Since we were unexpectedly snowed in yesterday, our plans to see Sesame Street Live were cancelled. Instead, we brought our snow blower to friends down the street and spent the afternoon with them, which was a lovely change of pace.

Today things were back to our regularly scheduled events. I was so excited to have a Tuesday off - it meant I could go to Ann Arbor Babywearers!

I was hoping to see Becca's newest squishy, Z, but maybe on Saturday. I learned how to wrap a ruck, which we quickly practiced at home. It really lifted my heart to spend time with other wrapping mamas and to be successful trying a new carry the first time.

We saw some awesome baby boots and were going to track them down in Ann Arbor but good old Kerrytown suckered me in and Griffin ended up with new robeez (you know, since he's decided standing is the coolest thing ever) instead. After a quick trip to Zingerman's, we headed home. But those boots were still on my mind, so I hunted them down online. They're called padraig slippers and are too cute.

Anyway, it was exactly what I needed. Exactly.

Cousin Kyra Spends the Night!

2011-02-20T09:06:00.000-05:00

Griffin getting ready to paint.

Griffin's artwork.

I love my cousin!

Happy baby.

Kyra and her masterpiece.

This week.

2011-02-18T16:39:00.000-05:00

This week started on an awesome note - Ryan took Valentines Day off to surprise me with Griffin and flowers at work. They walked in towards the end of my second hour class and I could almost not contain my tears of joy (though I managed to). I didn't even have a clue!

This week also ended on an awesome note. Though last night was a full moon and I was dreading the potential craziness of today, it was wonderful. We played games. We learned. We laughed. We played "Simon Dice" and drew crazy pictures - it was just cool. Days like today are why I adore my job. I need more of them.

Now off for four days and celebrating my niece's 9th birthday tonight with a cousins sleepover. Fun!

Last Time I Cried

2011-02-13T12:58:00.001-05:00

IMG_5860
Originally uploaded by jessikajessika

This photo is from the Coming Home dance. Didn't I have a handsome date???

The last time I cried was ath the Coming Home pep assembly...the games and kids were so funny that I was crying from laughing so hard!

Favorite Smells

2011-02-11T16:08:00.000-05:00

Griffin's hair after a bath
The ocean
A spring breeze
Este Lauder Pleasures (good thing I have enough to last a lifetime now!)
Freshly bloomed lilacs
Freshly brewed coffee
Oranges
Fireplaces and bonfires

I fell off the wagon, but at least I have updates.

2011-02-10T20:30:00.000-05:00

I fell off the blogging bandwagon. I promise to resume this weekend when life is (hopefully) a bit less crazy.

Some quick Griffin updates...

A list of foods eaten to date include: avocado, banana, califlower, brussel sprouts, chicken, cracker, assorted puffs, broccoli, peaches, pears, kiwi, mahi mahi, salmon, noodles, gnochi, carrots, freeze dried apples, sweet potatoes, green beans, eggs, oatmeal, brown rice, white rice, celery, asparagus, onion. The only thing he hasn't been too crazy about is cauliflower!

He is trying to pull himself standing, but can't yet. He loooooves standing though!

Cravings.

2011-02-07T20:52:00.000-05:00

Something I crave...I crave lots of dairy right now! I crave cheese and skinny caramel machiattos, and grilled two cheese sandwiches. My digestive system is much less tolerant of them now that I've avoided them (for Griffin) for 4 or 5 months, so it's painful to think about...but boy do I miss grilled cheese!

Parental Imagination

2011-02-07T20:32:00.000-05:00

As a child - an only child - I relied on my vivid imagination to create things in my world that didn't exist. I imagined a big brother, reindeer flying over the ocean. I didn't really have imaginary friends, per se, but spent a lot of time engrossed in imagining myself in situations - taking my last breaths in a hospital bed, swimming with killer whales, being a mermaid in the ocean. I could spend hours obsessing over these imaginary scenarios.

A combination of being an only child, reading, and very experience-based parenting probably led to this, which ultimately led to my love of writing so I can't complain. It was, however, also a downfall because an overactive imagination coupled with being an only child can mean that a kid isn't able to escape the potential mental torment. A friend's home burned down in a fire and it was years before I could fall asleep not imaging flames licking my bed. I watched a television show about a plane crash and even though I'd been flying since six months old, and flying alone since eight years old, panic suddenly grabbed me.

As a parent, I knew my imagination would be re-actived in new ways, but I didn't expect it to happen this early. On the plane I envisioned a crash into the water and the panic that would consume me if we had to evacuate the plane. I envisioned diving into the dark ocean, searching for his sinking body. It was horrible and caused by nothing in particular. Fear struck me. I don't know how people exist after their children die, I can't fathom how they take the next breath. I know they must take it one hour at a time, one breath at a time, one day at a time, but I cannot imagine how all those things combine to allow time to pass. My imagination runs away with me again and fear grips me.

Again, I knew this was coming, and in some ways I'm glad the scary imaginary things haven't surfaced sooner - I guess I thought those things would, but have been easily surpressed. I don't know how long I'll be able to do that, though, and I need to. Maybe I just need to re-channel my imagination. I can't wait for Griffin's imaginary play games to begin so I can re-channel.

Childhood Photo

2011-02-06T20:42:00.001-05:00

Kindergarten graduation.

Fourth birthday. Note the My Little Pony (pink) outfit, jelly shoes, and pose. All very not like me.

Forth

Me, around Griffin's current age. He actually looks much more like me than I realized!

Something I Am Thankful For

2011-02-05T07:02:00.002-05:00

Enough said, right?

My Favorite Teacher

2011-02-04T16:32:00.000-05:00

I'm copying Marcy on this one and doing a teacher for each school.

In elementary school, I had a lot of fantastic teachers. I was fortunate enough to go to an awesome school that was very progressive in it's techniques and thinking. We didn't do test prep. We took class trips out of the state every year.

Mrs. Mortimer was definitely the most fun - who doesn't love a whole month as , but Ms. McLaughlin did something that still brings me to tears: she knew I didn't have the required playdoh because my mother was in the hospital. I was in first grade, and all I knew is that a note went home and I didn't have what the other kids had because my mom was in the hospital indefinitely. She quietly handed me a container. That single act of kindness has never left me, and I often return to it when a student - or anyone - needs something. I felt loved, not because she gave me something but because she cared enough about me to help me at a sad point in my life. We didn't have a long talk about it or anything, but she knew I needed that at that moment for so many reasons.

In middle school I changed districts, switched names (I started going by my first name instead of my middle), and got quiet. I missed my old friends and old school. I made some dumb choices and let some more confident kids get me into trouble. The one time I was called down to the principal's office was enough - he screamed and yelled at me in a way I have never been yelled at. As an educator now, I realize the way he handled things was grossly inappropriate. I felt violated, betrayed, and ashamed of my actions. I found myself in Ms. Engel's room simply because her door was open. She let me sit across from her and sob for a few minutes. She gave me a hug, calmed me down, and listened. She never judged and never treated me any differently for the terrible thing I'd been accused of (and part of which I did, I'll admit). And again, it was the kindness she showed me that impacted me most.

I try to leave my door open whenever I can to be that teacher for my students.

In high school, Mr. Mandley was an unlikely source to be my favorite teacher but he was, and for different reasons than the previous two. Mr. Mandley taught AP biology, a class that I found challenging and so rewarding. Mr. Mandley expected a lot and gave a lot. He entertained and educated. He trusted. And when a moment came where I had to face a decision of cheating like my classmates were or not, I didn't mostly because I couldn't imagine how dissapointed Mr. Mandley would be and how I'd never get his trust back. I guess you could say he inspired me to be a better person.

I hope that one day my students will list me as one of their favorite teachers. I hope that I've shown them compassion in a moment of desperation, or taught them a particularly useful skill. I hope I help them become better people like my teachers helped me to be.

Best Christmas Present

2011-02-03T21:25:00.000-05:00

One year I BEGGED my parents for a pager. Yes, one of those things where all you can do is type in a number. I know, totally useless. But I wanted one so.darn.badly. They said pagers were for drug dealers and said if I wanted to "stay in contact" with people, they'd get me a cell phone. I refused. And then at Christmas, there went a buzzing box with my pager. How dumb was I to pass up a free cell phone in 1996 when they still cost a small fortune?!?

So, although I wanted the pager pretty badly, it was a poor choice so I guess it wasn't the best present.

I'd say Griffin was my best present, but he was born in May so that seems a bit unfair. There was the Christmas my parents gave us the check to fund our wedding, which was awesome and I think that'll have to take the cake since we never saw it coming.

favorite thing

2011-02-02T19:52:00.001-05:00

typing one handed, so forgive me...

favorite thing? snow! it meant a midweek weekend with the whole family cozy at home. hoping for more!

15 facts

2011-02-01T17:25:00.000-05:00

1.) I hate ranch dressing. I'd sooner eat salad with absolutely nothing on it than eat it with ranch. That being said...if you mix it with something that can cover up the dill flavor, then I can probably be convinced to eat it. Otherwise, I find it disgusting.

2.) I am the first person on either side of my family to have been born in the United States. I was a dual citizen of the USA and Germany for the first six years of my life.

3.) I am left handed in almost everything. I think I have pretty neat hand-writing for a lefty.

4.) I have never gotten a ticket (I hope I don't regret writing that!) other than a parking ticket. I have only been pulled over twice in the 12+ years I have been driving.

5.) I love being a mother more than I could have ever imagined.

6.) I once drove a car my dad bought on ebay - a car that was 10 years older than me and from a junkyard, never inspected by anyone - from Boston to Michigan.

7.) I have been to Spain, Ecuador, the Galapagos, Costa Rica, Canada, Germany, Italy, France, Austria, Morocco, Switzerland and the Netherlands. That's four continents, and I can't wait for more!

8.) I hated high school because of the drama, but was super involved and pretty academic.

9.) I willingly admit I am addicted to technology, particularly my iPhone.

10.) My entire life I have wished I wasn't an only child.

11.) I turned down a full ride to the University of Missouri to go to Michigan. I never once regretted it.

12.) I'm into earth friendly stuff - recycling, managing waste, repurposing, etc. We use cloth diapers and wipes, do some mondo recycling, and more.

13.) I almost always fall asleep while watching a movie.

14.) Taking photographs is one of my favorite hobbies of all time.

15.) If I had to pick another career, I think I'd like to be a counselor or a physician's asisstant.

Something that makes me sad

2011-01-31T21:08:00.001-05:00

It breaks my heart to see kids who don't value education. There are so very Manu reasons why, from too busy homes and from brains that work a bit differently, but I just fear for their future. How will they succeed and achieve their goals? How will they find happiness? How many extra obstacles will they face because of their lack of education?

Last Item I Purchased.

2011-01-30T07:55:00.000-05:00

I went grocery shopping yesterday, so the list of last items I purchased include:

ribeye, chicken breast, ground turkey
apples, bananas, pineapple, avocado, lettuce, and pears
pretzel braids, rice cakes
canned soup, frozen veggies, frozen lunches

Not very exciting, I know. The last individual purchase I made was a swim diaper for Griffin (I also learned he is about 20lbs! We weighed him to see what size diaper he needed, and it was a pleasant surprise because it meant we could buy a swim diaper in a large - a LARGE! - so that it fits him now and through the summer) that is sort of speedo-esque but photos of that will probably come later today when he's actually in it. We do plan on putting swim trunks over it, though, because that's not fair to do to a kid.

A Photo Without Makeup

2011-01-29T07:51:00.001-05:00

IMG_5466
Originally uploaded by jessikajessika

Pretty much half of the photos I've taken lately have been of me without makeup. When I do "wear" makeup, it's only eyeliner, so it's not like it's that dramatic of a change when I'm not wearing it. It's funny to think that there were times years ago when I was into the eyeshadow, the eyeliner, the mascara, the lipgloss. Slowly that dropped by the wayside (and thankfully, too, since it saves a lot of money and time!).

This photo was taken on our way to Florida - Griffin's first plane trip. :)

Power I Wish I Had

2011-01-28T16:29:00.000-05:00

If I had a super power, I think maybe reading minds would be nice, but only if I could turn it on/off at will. Otherwise, I have a feeling I would hear a lot of ridiculousness at work.

Perhaps it'd be nice to be invisible sometimes, so I could hear people and experience things with them without taking away from their own experience.

Most of all, I wish I had the super power of time travel in both directions. I'd like a remote control for time so I can relive the amazing moments as often as I want and know that as wonderful as they are, I can always return to their wonderfulness. This way Griffin's childhood would never totally end, and my own could be revived. I could have knowledge of the future if I wanted, or I could just go backwards. I think that'd be nice.

Dear Griffin - 8 months

2011-01-27T21:08:00.000-05:00

Dear Griffinator:

You are eight months old today! So many changes, even since last month. It's amazing how much you've changed in the past eight months, and though I'm always curious to see what's coming up next with you, it also always makes me sad, too. You are growing up so fast! I seriously feel like I'll blink and you'll be asking to borrow my car.

You army crawl super fast now, and have some serious upper body strength. On more than on ocassion we've found you on the other side of your playroom. You've gone from nibbling on foods to eating whole sweet potatoes at a meal (sometimes we can't get the food in front of you fast enough!). As always, you continue to be giggle, smiley, and a thrill seeker. The other night I had to ask your dad to stop bouncing/tossing you after thirty minutes straight of it!

This month you took your first trip, and baby you were AWESOME. You slept the entire plane ride to and from Florida. You were your typical laid-back self during the whole trip, too. We went to Sea World and though you slept through some awesome stuff, you also got to do some really cool stuff, like ride your first carousel (which you adored!) and see sharking swimming overhead in this tube thing. In general, you were pretty amazing on this trip, kiddo. You had a great time with Grandma Denise and her chihuahua Rico.

You still dislike the carseat, though I suppose I can't really blame you. You're learning how to wave and pretty much have a modified high five covered. It is super cool.

I found a student who I think you'll be a lot like, though I also think it's wishful thinking because he's pretty awesome and I hope you'll be awesome as a sixteen year old kid, too. He's got a great balance of laughter and work ethic, and everyone loves him. He's goofy but serious when he needs to be - all traits I hope you have, too, and some traits that I think I see in you already. I think about your future a lot...what you'll want to be, how I'll feel when I have to watch you do something tough. Each day I wish I could freeze time and savor each moment even more fully, but then have the ability to go backwards and forwards in time to re-enjoy each of your stages.

Thank you for making me happier than I've ever been, little buddy. I owe you a lifetime of happiness, too.

Love,

Mama

Meaning Behind "Brew Another Cup"

2011-01-27T20:57:00.000-05:00

This one's easy - I looooove coffee! There's always room for one more cup (unless it's one of my dad's sludge-like delicious brews...in which case, having one two many may be detrimental to a week's worth of sleep).

Last Book I Read.

2011-01-26T15:53:00.000-05:00

This blog post has been plaguing me all day. It should be easy to tell you the last book I read. It should be something amazing, a classical work of literature, or at least something long. But it's not - it was "Mama Mama" last night. (On a related note, Ryan's last book was "Papa Papa", the other side of the book.)

The last books I completed were all children's books and although they may not be glorious works of literature, I still think they're both important and fun. Since Griffin has been born I haven't finished anything solely for me, but I love there things we've read. A lot of them have brought me to tears - "Someday" is a favorite. Griffin loves "The Very Hungry Caterpillar", so I've read that one a lot.

The last book I read for me was "Love in the Time of Cholera" which I both started and finished during my multiple non-stress tests. It was a running joke with the nurses and midwife. So, at least there was something of literarary merit somewhere in there (I also really enjoyed it, too, which I was slightly surprised by).

Something I Refuse To Do.

2011-01-25T15:47:00.000-05:00

Again, a back story.

One summer in college I worked at the Ann Arbor YMCA. In the grand scheme of all the jobs I've had, I think it was the worst (though I did meet my dear co-craft princess Kristen there!) of them all mostly because of the pools.

But Jessika, you say, what was wrong with swimming in a chlorinated pool two times a day during the hot summmer?

EVERYTHING, I say!

The kiddie pool I swam in in the morning was warm and salty. WARM. and. SALTY. Not naturally, mind you, but from the kiddies. As in, heavily peed in to make it warm and salty. Ick.

The big pool was nice in the sense that it wasn't warm or salty, but since it was the second swim of the day it meant that just as I had dried off, I had to get back into my wet suit and who knows what the water was really like. And some days, I swam three times. Three times a day, times five days a week, times eight days...well, that was a LOT of swimming.

So, something I refuse to do now is swim in public pools. I dislike the chemicals and the things they are covering up. I hate the smell. I HATE the locker rooms, probably because when I was a counselor at the YMCA I had to explain to a lovely family that their five year old had spent 20 minutes comparing his manly bits to the manly bits of the toddlers in the room (the toddler teacher was in there, I obviously was not). I hate communical dressing rooms, communial showers, and being wet when it's cold. Icky ick, gross, gross.

(This all being said, even though I *refuse* to swim in communal pools I really want Griffin to take swim lessons. So, this summer we may find ourselves at the local rec, though the pool looks much more delicious than the old Y pool ever did. Did I mention it was WARM and SALTY water when it was intended to be a chlorinated pool? Ewwwww.)

Day 2: The Best Part of My Day

2011-01-24T16:37:00.000-05:00

I've been trying to decide on the best part of my day all.day.long. I thought it might be best to first show you what my typical day is like.

4:30am: Wake up for the day next to my two favorite people in the world. Stare at sweet sleeping baby for a few minutes, then remind myself that if I do not get out of bed baby will not have toys/clothing/a college fund/health care.
5:00am: Baby wakes up all smiley. Ryan dresses him and they hang out for a few minutes.
5:20am: Last morning feeding together, then we're out the door.
5:40: Griffin is at daycare. We play for a few minutes before I leave, and I chat with his morning teacher who is absolutely fabulous.
5:50am: Drive through at Starbucks for my Pike Place. Wonder why I can't bring myself to make my own coffee in the morning. Begin missing Griffin as I pull out of the driveway.
6am: Arrive at work. First teacher in the building. Turn on computer, eat breakfast (oatmeal), try to wrap my brain around what I need to do for the day. Write down the agenda, update lesson plans, make copies, set up bellwork, get stuff ready for the day.
6:50am: First pumping session of the morning. (FUN.)
7am: Kids arrive and the workday begins.
9:50am: My planning period begins. Another pumping session and begin planning for my PM classes.
11:45am: Lunch. Yet another pumping session. Relax and read the news.
2:00pm: Kiddos leave. Last pumping session and typically a meeting of some sort until our release time of 2:30.
Somewhere between 3 and 4: Pick up smiling and messy Griffin (today he was COVERED in squash!). We giggle and play as we say goodbye to everyone.
6pm: Ryan gets home and it's his turn to play and snuggle with Griffin while I shower.
7:00pm: Dinner.
8:35pm:(Yes, this is an exact time, but almost without fail it happens.) After a quick book and feeding, Griffin falls asleep all snuggly in my arms. I usually pass out not too long afterwards.
Somewhere between 9 and 4am: Insert 2-4 feedings here.

These things being said, I think my favorite time is first thing in the morning, waking up next to peaceful sleeping Griffin. Ryan once told someone that having Griffin gave him a reason to wake up in the morning; though my job has always motivated me enough to wake up (at least most days!), Griffin gives me even more of a reason to wake up in the morning. I love seeing his crazy bedhead, his sweet cheeks, his peaceful face. And even though he gives me a reason to wake up in the morning my heart swells and there's nothing I want more in the world at that moment than to let it engulf me and last forever. Though any time with Griffin is the best time of my day, I think the morning is the ultimate best.

Day I: My workspace.

2011-01-23T07:16:00.001-05:00

Since we use laptops, my workspace is primarily our living room. The left seat is mine, and I kick back my feet and type as something else is going on - dogs are playing, baby is jumping in the jumperoo, tv is on. There's not much else to our workspace other than the fact that it is no longer carpeted, which is AWESOME because it's so much easier to clean.

My workspace at work is cozy and in desperate need of a good, thorough reorganization one of these days.

30 days

2011-01-15T08:15:00.000-05:00

I'm going to make an attempt to try this 30 days of blogging thing I got from Marcy. We'll see how it goes!

Your work space.

The best part of your day.

Something you refuse to do.

Last book you read.

Meaning behind your blog name.

Talent you wish you had.

A photo of you without makeup.

Last item you purchased.

Something that makes you sad.

15 Facts about you.

Your favorite thing right now.

Best Christmas present you ever got.

Your favorite teacher.

Something you’re thankful for.

A photo from your childhood.

Something you crave.

Your worst hair moment (if you skip this one, it’s totally cool).

Favorite smells.

Last time you cried.

Last time you had to apologize to someone.

Something that scares you.

Something that really bugs you.

What you dislike most about your appearance.

Celebrity crush.

A trait you deplore in others.

A photo taken 10 years ago.

First book/movie/song that moved you.

What turns you off?

The story behind one of your scars.

This one was left blank so I will have to think of it when I get to it, unless anyone has a suggestion.

Wearin' of the baby.

2011-01-09T20:45:00.001-05:00

Originally uploaded by jessikajessika

Mastering wearing the baby on my back was a huuuuge accomplishment. First, I was just happy to get him on my back with Ryan's help - tons of photos for me to "see" how the back looked, lots of hopping and fussing to get him situated just right. And then somewhere along the way I just figured it out on my own, and things got quick, smooth, and comfortable. Perfect.

Do you think he'll let me wrap him until he's in kindergarten? Ok, until (at least) pre-school?

To You

2011-01-08T07:50:00.000-05:00

About ten years ago, give or take a few, I came across a blog. I was in college, so not thinking AT ALL about having a family/being married/etc., but I've always been intrigued by people who are at different points in their lives so your blog was particuarly interesting for me. I liked how you wrote, I liked your profession (which was still my dream at that time), and I was hooked.

This was, of course, before blogging was really a big deal. I guess I am ahead of the times ocassionally.

Anyway, it was really my first experience with the whole anxiety of someone having a baby. And I didn't even know you in real life! I just followed your pregnancy online (on diary-x, too) and then you didn't post for a few days, and I was soooo excited.

The post that reappeared is probably one of the first internet readings that ever made me cry, when you posted about the 89 hours your precious little one lived. I remember looking at the pictures and being so stunned at how beautiful and perfect she was, and I remember my braining wanting so badly to convince myself that this was FICTION I was reading, not NON-FICTION, and that you indeed had a beautiful and perfect baby girl who was very alive and well.

In the weeks after her tragic death, I cried every time I read your posts about the hospital errors, your emotional roller coaster, the purchase of her coffin. In some ways I feel like the images you wrote about are so real for me too; and then I realize, there's no way for me to ever understand those things in anything that is even remotely close to your experiences. And then a few years later you got pregnant again, and I waited on baited breath for everything to go smoothly. I cried when it did.

The point of this post, really, is that though I can't imagine how incredibly difficult this part of your life has been, I do appreciate you sharing it with me. Your experiences linger in the back of my mind and help me achieve "carpe diem" to a new level. In my pregnancy, I treasured every kick, I breathed in every hiccup. In labor, when I was forced with the moment of difficulty, I thought about how hard it must have been for you. And now that my son is here, I spent several moments each day breathing in his perfection, knowing that there are parents out there who don't get those moments and I'm oh so lucky that I do.

I don't know how people survive the lose of their child. I can't even wrap my brain on how they take any breathes following those moments, because even thinking about it takes my breath away and brings tears to my eyes. You taught me to appreciate these things even more than I ever would have otherwise. And I guess I just wanted to say thank you for that.

Dear Griffin - 7 months

2011-01-01T09:29:00.000-05:00

Dear Griffin:

You are seven months old now! I have no idea how that happened. I don't know where the time has gone. Each month you seem to change so much; last month you mostly mushed some food around and struggled to bring it to your mouth, but this month you've got those things down PAT and actually eat some stuff. It's pretty impressive. Recently you tried zuchini, and it seems to have been a big hit with you (apparently you like warm zuchini juice). Guacamole was a big hit too, and the one jar of baby food we've given you (pears) was a hit, but I like you feeding yourself better since you seem to enjoy it, too.

You've got the army crawl down pat now, and can get up on all fours but can''t really go anywhere. I suspect by the time you hit eight months you'll be pretty proficient at some type of crawling. For Christmas daddy and I got lots of baby gates and so far have four of the five we need up and functioning. Between you and the dogs, there's lots of spaces to block off! This will be an endless battle for us, I'm sure.

This month you had your first Christmas, which you thoroughly enjoyed, and your first visit with Santa (so glad you didn't yank on his beard, little man). I started wrapping you on my back more in preparation for your growing size and for our trip to visit Grandma in Florida. You were tested for a milk allergy and thankfully you aren't truly allergic, just intolerant that you'll probably outgrow.

Now you get a bit grumpy when we take something away from you, but you're still pretty distractable. You're still pretty willing to go to other people, and most of the time you smile pretty easily still (though lack of naps interferes with this more now). Being in the carseat is still your least favorite thing. We can get you to giggle uncontrolably with minimum effort - a toy, raspberries, side tickling. Opa helped you learn to walk on your hands, which you loved. You're on the last notch of the jump-a-roo, too, but it's still your favorite.

You are still the most awesome baby in the world, Mono, and we are the luckiest parents ever. Love you, monster.

Mama

First Christmas

2011-01-01T09:20:00.000-05:00

The Griffinator's first Christmas was a sucess. He is right at the age where he can kinda sorta open some presents (wrapping in tissue paper certainly helped) but he wasn't too overwhelmed or too mobile to have to put everything away. For us big kids (aka parents) it was the best Christmas ever. Having a child truly brings back the magic of Christmas, and I cannot wait until next Christmas already.

Highlights of Griffin's presents include a whoopie cushion, a sing-a-ma-jig, and lots of awesome books. He likes his noisy toys, too (of course). Now we just have to find homes for all these new things in our house...! No doubt we'll be doing THAT until next Christmas.

Home.

2010-12-21T08:46:00.000-05:00

Today marks day four of my winter vacation, which has been lovely aside from my very unhappy stomach on Saturday. Yesterday we mostly finished up Christmas shopping, but we also had lunch at the local Polish restaurant, who has come to adore Griffin. They know him by name when he walks in (seriously, we've been there maybe 6 times since he was born, so that is impressive to me) and yesterday we hardly got a bite in without one of the ladies stopping by to make him smile or kiss his hat.

It was adorable, and totally encourages me to want to go back there more often. The Griffinator soaked in the all the attention like a true champ, and I think their adoration of him meant that they didn't mind the mess he made quite so terribly. Who would have thought a few hunks of mushy carrot could make that kind of mess???

Today we are settling into what was our summer routine - a babywearing meetup, lunch at the mall, and then shopping for some basics at our favorite baby store, The Little Seedling. Most of the Christmas shopping is done, sans a few smaller presents, stocking stuffers (hoping to get some baby-friendly ones at TLS today), and a few things for Ryan. All in all, I'm in pretty good shape with presents (I think) and even caught up on wrapping.

The Griffster has decided that I must be within a few feet at all times, making drying my hair a more challenging task. We've been doing a lot of babywearing lately, but I got caught up in standing still while wearing, which means I put some weird pressure on my back that is slowly recovering. Was hoping to stop by the chiropractor today, but we'll see since I have no idea what their hours are.

In unrelated news, I got monkey slippers as a Christmas present yesterday and am ELATED. ELATED! Monkeys! And slippers! Yah!

Bring on the snow!

2010-12-13T16:47:00.000-05:00

Since Thanksgiving I've been mentioning how I wanted a snow day before Christmas vacation. I didn't really think it would happen - I think since I've been teaching we've had one snow day before January. Then lo and behold, today came the phone call, and I was free to go back to bed and snuggle with my favorite little man. It was so much better than it was a Monday, too.

So what did we do all day? We hung out in the jumper (ok, he did, I was on the computer). We napped together, and I graded papers while he took his morning nap. We hung out together for lunch, and we watched the dogs romp in snow. We layed on the floor and chatted.

It was an awesome day. Four more work days and then we'll have 16 guaranteed snow days together!

Quadruple.

2010-12-11T20:32:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, my grandfather had a quadruple bipass. In the past week, he has had two heart attacks. Today, he is off machines and I've heard they were going to walk around the ward tonight. It sounds like he's in good spirits and doing well.

I haven't called, because I don't even know how to get ahold of him in the hospital and I don't want to stress anyone out. But I'm thinking about this man that makes the best ramen in the world, who wordless seems to understand me just so.

Ten.

2010-11-27T07:57:00.000-05:00

Last night was our ten night reunion. All things considered, I think it turned out pretty well - on the part of us planners, it was fairly stress free, and everything seemed to come together. The night ended a bit earlier than I had thought it would, but some people started an after-reunion reunion so at least people had a place to go (we went to pick up our favorite 6 month old).

Ryan reconnected with a long lost friend, who turns out to live basically down the street from us! We couldn't believe it. He's been looking for him since our wedding over three years ago, and all this time he was not far. I was happy to see some unlikely reunion people show up and chat with a few people I didn't know very well in high school but seem like they are excellent people.

Reunions sure get you thinking. We didn't spend a ton of time going down memory lane, but it was neat to hear about all the things people have been going through instead of just seeing electronic versions. The miracle of facebook has really changed how people stay connected, but instead of forcing people to only be connected online it's almost like you have built in conversation starters.

It's funny how things end up, too. Ryan is in a very different place now than he thought he'd be ten years ago, and I think talking to some people who are living out his dream made him realize that though being in the Marines is a dream he lost, he has something much better than may of our former classmates are striving for: a home, a family, a life crafted with love. I don't know where I thought I'd be ten years after high school, but I imagine I had similar goals to what I've accomplished: a few degrees, a career, a family, some travels.

The night did end with me and some classmates doing the chicken dance on stage. Let's just say I'm all sorts of educated on how that dance works now.

Dear Griffin - 6 months

2010-11-27T07:54:00.000-05:00

Dearest Griffin:

Today you're six months old. Six months! Half a year! I don't know where the time has gone, but I suspect I never well. Having you with us has made me so keenly aware of the passing of time in a way I never knew possible. Each minute is precious. Each hour is one I won't get back with you. I watch you sleep sometimes and it makes me both sad and joyous - you're still growing in your sleep, but you're so peaceful. Sometimes I wish I had a remote control for time, so I could freeze the moments I love and revisit them whenever my heart needs to, but we could still move forward and see how wonderful and amazing you are at 3, at 5, at 12, at 15, at 18, at 20.

You can do so much now. You reach for things in our hands, and love slamming your open palm onto things to make noise. Most of the time you can sit up on your own, though typically something catches your interest and you plunk sideways. Just last week you started to show some displeasure when we take something away from you (usually it's something silly like a menu you're trying to chew on or something), or when one of us leaves the room. It's easy to get you to laugh, too, because you're ticklish now and love when I roll some Rs your way. The jump-a-roo continues to be your favorite toy, and it seems sometimes that you forget that not EVERYTHING is a jump-a-roo because you want to bounce all the time! Maybe we should call you Tigger.

Our house has changed a lot to be more baby friendly. You rule the roost, Little Man! The family room is mostly baby stuff, and now that we have a high chair the sitting room has turned into a second play area for you, too. The addition of two Christmas trees has made you one happy baby since they combine the best of both worlds for you: trees! lights!

Even though I never thought I'd be a co-sleeping kind of parent, it's one of my favorite things. You snuggle up to us when you're cold, and you nuzzle my arm when you're getting hungry. Daddy tucks you into his body when I get up to get ready in the morning, and sometimes I wake up to see your sweet face inches from mine. I couldn't imagine not waking up to your tiny face, even though I know at some point we'll have to break ourselves of this habit. I'm going to try not to think about that for now.

What I have been thinking about a lot lately is some sort of goal for us as a family, a goal to reach before you turn eighteen and graduate high school. Will it be to see all fifty states? All seven continents? The countries where your ancestry is from? Countries that start with an I? We are still kicking around ideas, but I want to come up with something neat to share with you. And I'm hoping we can get started on it soon.

Thank you for a wonderful six months, buddy. We are so lucky to have you.

Love,

Mama

In honor of Thanksgiving: A List of Thankfulness

2010-11-25T06:31:00.000-05:00

I'm thankful for...

...Griffin being here with us, alive and well, and that none of us are really worse for the wear from a difficult delivery.
... a job where I get to work with hundreds of people I love each day
...my shelter, as it gets re-roofed and begins to burst at the seams from children's toys
...the people who I love in my life, those who take care of me and look out for me
...my car that has proven yet again to be dependable and also sometimes provides me shelter
...the travels I have been upon and the travels we will embark upon in the future
...strength, endurance, and hope
...5am snuggles and baby smiles
...laughter
...a sweet husband to share in so many amazing moments with me
...cloth diapers (dirty and clean!) and other green parenting
...babywearing and baby wraps that keep Griffin snuggly and close
...The Office!
...great memories and may more in the making
...FAMILY!
...furry family members (even when they are making obnoxious noises at 6:30am)
...the miracles of technology: iPhones, 3D tvs, GPS devices that minimize my getting lost
...happiness and a whole wonderful list of things to be happy for

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!

I need to come to terms with my health.

2010-11-20T19:33:00.000-05:00

I'm sick. Last week I had a cold, got pink eye, and I think that on top of those two things I actually have my first case ever of strep. But there are no real symptoms other than a crazy sore/swollen throat - no fever, not any more tired than usual, no real cough to speak of. I was hoping it would go away on it's own but now that I've had a sore throat for a week it's probably time I actually do something about it. Not typically my style, but it's also a slipperly slope whether or not I get sicker and how that impacts both myself and Griffin.

In the past year I've been sick more than I've been in the past ten. Gone are the days where I have super immunity, I guess. Perhaps we better invest in antibiotics!

Time, it's a flyin'

2010-11-17T18:05:00.000-05:00

Time is flying so past I almost don't even acknowledge it's presence. I don't know what day it is, or what month. I don't know how I went from finding out I was pregnant to being the mother of an almost six month old who can almost sit up totally on his own. When did we turn the heat on? How do I only have 10% oil life left, didn't I just change it? It's NOVEMBER?!?!

It's bittersweet that life is going so fast. I feel such a strong urge to grab each precious moment and savor it, but it doesn't slow anything down. Photos, writing, burning memories into my brain - none of these things can truly stop time. But do I want it to? I don't know what wonderful things lie around the corner. I guess you just never know.

Abandoned?

2010-11-08T17:02:00.000-05:00

I've decided I need 6 more hours in a day - 3 for sleep and 3 for work-related items. I need more time to grade, more time to plan, and to maintain my time with Griffin at home. I find myself abandoning the old things I used to do (ie., blog!) because there is just not enough time. There's not enough time to clean, or go for walks, or do a lot of other things. And mostl.y I'm ok with that because the time for those things has been replaced with time with my favorite little person, and there's no denying that spending time with him IS my favorite thing to do. But you know, it'd be nice to clean the tub more than once a year (I kid!).

In other news, I remembered today the old addage of "you can bring a horse to water but you can't make it drink". I'll keep plugging away with my students tomorrow in my attempt to get them to love Spanish music, but I guess I'll accept that not everything is perfect. I guess my intro to Spanish music just wasn't as well received as I had hoped it would be, but of course that has much to do with my delivery and instruction and let's just say that I didn't do a very good job with that today, either.

So much to learn in this life!

Dear Griffin - 5 months

2010-10-27T16:27:00.002-04:00

Dear Griffin/Mono/Monkey/Little Man:

Today you're five months old. Five months! I can't believe how quickly they've gone by. You're 16lbs, 3oz now (50th percentile for weight, 90th+ for height) and can almost sit up unassisted. You laugh a ton and are still making a lot of noise (though you're adding consonants now). You smile so easily and often, and your eyes are still blue (I never expected them to stick around this long). One of your favorite things to do is what we call "the alligator death roll", where you roll around frantically as we are changing you. It's much fun for you, of course, and less for us.

You've learned a lot in this past week especially - one day you just started reaching for EVERYTHING in my hand, and then a few days later you figured out how to grab your feet and stick them in your mouth. Before, we had to help you get your feet there. It's hilarious how you've discovered you can pretty much grab anything we have in our hands...we're a bit slower than you at this learning business, so we haven't quite learned to keep things out of your way. We will, I'm sure, or you will remind us!

Halloween is this weekend, and you'll be a monkey, of course. We haven't fully decided where you'll be this monkey, but for sure you'll help us pass out some candy and such.

You are such a good baby and learning so many awesome things. Each time you do something new I'm simultaneously excited and sad - excited you're learning about the world around you, and sad that you're getting just a little bit more independent and less of the tiny baby we remember so vividly. It's the nature of the beast, so to speak. But you are always a delight, Griffin, and we're so happy we have you.

Love,

Mama

An ad.

2010-10-24T20:31:00.000-04:00

WANTED: More time - about six more hours in a day. A body double to attend work for me most days and to do all household cleaning. A cleaning lady that cleans doggie rear ends (don't ask), my junky car, my classroom, and anything else deemed necessary. A tireless bank account that never empties, and endless cups of coffee that don't dehydrate me. Fall to last forever, and cool fall evenings to last forever, too (or at least until I tell them to give me a break).

Another list of happiness

2010-10-17T09:05:00.000-04:00

Griffin's giggling in the jumperoo. He just learned how to jump!
Coffee in the morning, especially hazelnut.
The brilliant colors on the trees as the leaves change. It's amazing.
The smell of pumpkin pie-like stuff.
Going to the farmers market every Sunday (so sad today is the last day).
Salmon. Not the swimming kind but the eating kind (sorry salmon).
Hearing how smiley Griffin is, and seeing how other people light up when he smiles at them.
Driving my car. Despite it's drama awhile back, I really enjoy my SUV.
My iPhone. There's so much I love about built in entertainment all the time.
Breaks from my routine - this week I have a two day conference and next week I have two days of workshops in the building. It's a lot of time outside of the classroom, and I'm sad about that, but I love the change of pace.
Seeing Eddie curl up and cuddle with Annie on the one sofa spot they decide is *the* place to be despite the other 23101 options.
Getting things in the mail. (Though on the converse side, expecting things to arrive and having them not arrive is very dissapointing.)
Knowing that the holiday season is just around the corner, and I actually have a few ideas for gifts already.

Hugs.

2010-10-16T08:01:00.000-04:00

In the past week, a friend has lost a young cousin and a co-worker has lost a niece my age. I've read about someone's dear infant who passed away and read countless entries abotu people's losses. It makes me hug Griffin close and be thankful for his sweet smell, his darling smile, the happiness in his "words". Hug your loved ones a bit closer and appreciate them because there are some people who don't have that opportunity anymore.

Big Time

2010-10-08T20:05:00.001-04:00

IMG_4592
Originally uploaded by jessikajessika

Griffin's daycare teacher is a double anti-Michigan fan...she loves both MSU and Ohio State (hey, some people don't have taste, right?). So today was MSU/Michigan day at daycare and Griffin was DECKED OUT!

Yesterday we bought him a little football outfit - a jersey and real football pants (size 6/9 and it fits him well), a zip up hoodie to double as a jacket until we find a real jacket, temporary tattoos and a skull cap. I made sure to not send him with any green diapers and reminded him yesterday in the store that he was surrounded by two of the best colors - maize and blue!

Though I didn't get to drop him off this morning, I was eagerly awaiting seeing him because 1.) he's an awesome kid and 2.) I was pretty sure whatever his teacher had done to him would be hilarious. As it turns out, he actually helped me out a bit by sleeping most of the day. He did, however, make his first art work in green paint and wear a green crown at some point. The pictures I saw of that were pretty funny.

I don't know if Michigan is going to win tomorrow, but even if they don't, we still bleed maize and blue around these parts. And these colors don't run!